Paltry Devices

I'm going to have to ask that we keep this post on the down low. You know, just between you and me, because I would hate for the following to be well known. And you shall see why shortly.

My last two months of my college experience, I was roommates with a girl named Stacey. And it was Stacey who shared with me the following recipe. It's called several different things: when I bring it in to work, I call it "Caramel Oatmeal Bars". At home, we call it "Death by Caramel".

The name Stacey called it was... "Man Catching Brownies." Now, how valid that name is, I will not say, never having made it for a man I wanted to "catch".

Who resorts to such paltry devices?

Er... Anywhoo, I make them for me and my girlfriends. These bars are, after all, meant to be shared. And then stories about sharing need to be shared.

Man Catching Brownies

1-1/2 cups Flour
1-1/2 cups Brown Sugar
1/3 tsp Salt
1-1/2 cups Oats
1-1/8 cups Butter
2/3 tsp Baking Soda

Mix the above ingredients. Pour half of the mixture in the bottom of baking dish (any size). Bake for 10 minutes at 350*F.

48 Caramels
7-1/2 tablespoons Whipping Cream
1 cup Chocolate Chips

Melt the caramels and stir in cream. Pour on top of crust. Pour the other half of the mixture on top of the caramel. Sprinkle with chocolate chips. Bake for another 10 minutes at 350*F. Let cool before serving.

Don't stop me if you've heard this one before...

When I was in college, I may have loved this boy who may or may not have been called "George Thurmond" who loved my chocolate chip cookies. He used to devour them, with sound effects of rather a pornographic nature. "Herbal Essence commercial" is a politer way of describing it. Unfortunately, if he had known me better, he would have known that at the time I could not make a good batch of chocolate chip cookies to save my life. [I have since mastered the art: put the dough in the refrigerator for a hour or so. It's amazing how it helps!]

Yes, the secret comes out: the Pillsbury doughboy was a personal friend of mine.

Like boys that I may have loved, he fell to the wayside and he and I are no longer friends. I may have been hung up on him for a very long time. About a year after "George Thurmond", my roommates and I became friends with a group of boys who were everything to me: brothers, friends, neighbors, teachers. Every Monday night (and nearly every other night of the week) for two years, we would congregate together and sometimes I would make a special dessert.

One of my roommates at the time was Janelle, my best friend who will be featured frequently in this blog, who knew about the whole "George Thurmond" business.

One night I made an Apple Cinnamon cake, as an experiment, and received rave reviews. Of rather a pornographic nature. I was the first to notice: "Phil" *really* loved it. The words "Yipee ki yay" were used. And soon "Aaron" let me know that he loved it, too, although not so animatedly. Janelle, being the good-friend with-the-memory-of-an-elephant that she is, turned to me and said "Aaron just Thurmonded that cake."

To which I replied, "Phil also Thurmonded that cake like no one's Thurmonded that before."

Later on, this cake became known as Thurmond Cake, the food of legends, and now I will share the recipe with all of you.

Thurmond Cake

1 box spice cake mix (Betty Crocker is a personal friend, too)
21 oz. can apple pie filling
3 large eggs (or 3/4 cup egg substitute)
3 Tablespoons cinnamon sugar
Whipped Topping

Preheat oven to 350*F. Grease and flour 9x13 cake pan. Mix the cake mix, pie filling and eggs well. Pour half of mixture in cake pan, sprinkle with 1/2 of cinnamon sugar. Pour rest of mixture in pan, sprinkle with rest of cinnamon sugar. Bake for 28-30 minutes (check at 25 minutes). Let cool, and serve with dollop of whipped topping.